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Saturday, April 01, 2006

BREAKING NEWS: En masse resignations in the Bush Administration!!!!

Dateline: Washington, DC, 4/1/2006, 9AM EST AP


George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, and his Vice President Dick "Darth" Cheney, have jointly resigned following the frogmarching of the brains of their operation, Karl Rove, out of the West Wing. Condileeza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld and many other cabinet-level aides have also resigned.



An extraordinary joint session of Congress has been called to deal with the Constitutional Crisis this unprecidented event has provoked. However, Congress will be operating on a smaller-than-normal quorum because many of the GOP Senate and House leadership have also resigned, led by Dr. Bill "Kitty-killer/Frosty piss" Frist.

"There are so many people who have decided to 'take one for the team' in the Republican Party that the Democratic Party may have a temporary majority in both houses of Congress. I'm so excited! This is beautiful!" said Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA).

There are so many Christian Right-connected individuals who have resigned today that the most popular term for the day's events that is kicking around DC is "The Rapture."

UPDATE 9:30pm...as if you haven't guessed...APRIL FOOLS.
I wish this indeed was the case, but unfortunately this isn't happening. At least not yet.