From the "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out" department:

Apparently John Ashcroft, our current Attorney General, will not be a part of Dubya Part 2: The Sequel. Apparently facing health problems and "exhausted" from the job, the widely-hated Ashcroft is reportedly going to retire either before January 20th or immediately after.

It is unknown what his plans are after vacating his post. Hopefully they include being far away from any position of power over Americans.